As expected, these feelings can quickly overwhelm us or leave us feeling dejected. As parents, we react differently to different situations, and each “trigger” we have with our children requires us to face our demons. We should confront ourselves, our fears, dissatisfaction, shame, fears, troubles, parental insecurities, and many more emotions we don’t like to address.
One important thing not to forget is that all emotions are valid, but not all behaviors are accepted. When we refuse to confront our own emotions, our kids and our family members suffer in unhealthy ways. If we allow our feelings control us, rather than control them, dealing with our kids will much tougher. To do this, you need to remain calm and not respond with a negative reaction when your child goes overboard.
As a lot of people will find out, parenting is whole new ball game and can be a very emotional experience. Most times than not, our kids and our relationship with them will trigger our own feelings of dissatisfaction, anger, helplessness, frustration and confusion.
These few tips will help you;
Take a break to meditate
Embracing the acts of resting, breathing and meditating are effective for a reason. When you feel physically or mentally bothered, your adrenaline rises. It may be that what is bothering you is the fact that your child won’t listen to you and you are at your breaking point. This is why mii it’s parents say things they end up regretting —and why it is important to take time to think, meditate and rest.
Be an example to your child on how to deal with difficult emotions. You can do this by saying, “I’m dissatisfied with your behavior right now, so I’m going to take a few minutes to relax, calm down and figure out how best we can deal with this situation. We will have a talk later.”
When you feel exceptionally upset, understand that that is your internal cue to take some rest and think how to effectively deal with that situation. This achieves two things – Not only are you calmer and more productive, you are teaching your kids how to react when experiencing such emotions.
Understand yourself well
Try to see your children independently of whatever baggage you are carrying along with you, rather than from your own doubts, fears and worries. To do this, you should know when your problems are being shoved onto your kids.
Deal effectively with the main problems in your life so you won’t be me up spilling them onto your kids and hurting them in the process.
The world shouldn’t revolve round your kids, all the time
This is a big one. We all know this truth, but it can happen regardless of our best intentions. Why should we avoid doing this? It’s not good for your child or for you.
Instead of having your world revolve around your child all the time, take care of yourself and your own mental health. Go out more often, take breaks, exercise, eat out, start/join a book club, be a part of genuine adult relationships and friendships and pursue your own life objectives.
Also, be mindful of ensuring your mind stays in the Present. If you find yourself conjuring up “what if” scenarios surrounding your children, bring yourself back to the “now”. A simple exercise to bring yourself back to the present is to ask yourself some questions:
- Are there hards facts suggesting that the child isn’t doing well?
- Is my worry born out of past occurrences or fears?
To reduce anxiety as a parent, think and act on the things that are unexaggerated, reasonable and realistic for you to do for you and your family. Be conscious about changing the cycle in your home into a healthier and less anxious one! If you do this, you‘ll be much calmer and your life and that of your kids will have better structure and love. Also, everyone will feel calmer and feeling calmer will help everyone function better and more be more productive.